1. I don’t play Windows. The boy brings a computer. Explains the situation - like it stopped loading, incomprehensible errors are flying out. According to external signs, either the disk has failed, or the virus has worked. I install the bootable resuscitation disk and take a look. Disk C is suspiciously empty; there are somehow not enough folders on it. The boy hasn’t escaped yet, I’m starting to “torture” him. What did you do and how? Well, he says he cleaned his computer of debris. I opened the explorer and started looking. I don’t play “Contra”, I deleted it, “Fifa” is already tired, I killed it too, I never played “Windows” at all, I killed it too... Now this boy has already grown up and works in an IT company in Kiev as a system specialist administrator.
2. Buying a laptop for the director or a “damaged phone.” The older boss decided to keep up with the times and go computerized. He called me and asked me to buy him a computer with the following characteristics: “Shtob WasNibalshoiInASteelPlaced.” I went online, looked at the price lists in stores and ordered him a laptop. The time has come to pick it up, I go to the boss, I say give me a power of attorney so that I can pick up your computer, he says, “Yeah, what do you need to write in the power of attorney?”, I told him, “1 laptop.” He sent me to the accountant, and he started dialing him on the phone, so that while I was walking from the 3rd to the 1st floor, the accountant would do everything. I arrived and ready-made documents were already waiting for me in the accounting department, carefully placed in a file. In the store where the laptop was ordered and paid for, they took the documents and began checking them, and when it came time for the power of attorney, the seller first laughed quietly, and then gave me a hand to read. In the product column there was the inscription “NUBUCK – 1 piece.” 3. Peculiarities of perception, or how I sent a letter to a famous journalist In one office where exclusively extremely elderly workers work, I was asked to come in and help in one strange matter - that’s what they told me. “Look,” says the woman from this office. The director gave us instructions to send a letter to some journalist on television, but he doesn’t have the full address, only the name and surname of the journalist, and something else that is not clear, and today we need to print the letter before the break, go to the post office in order to be on time send it, because the envelopes are taken out of the box there at 12-00. And he gives me a piece of paper on which is handwritten the name of the publication, the email address (hello main post office) and the recipient... - this is a famous journalist and I could hardly imagine that a person could be so far from today’s reality that he could not understand who by ear This. On a piece of paper it was written - Gena Polsky . Well, who among you hasn’t heard the name of Matvey Ganapolsky?... 4. Difficulties in translation or how to come up with a Czech surname I was going to somehow work remotely in another city and at the same time have a little rest. The town where I was going for several weeks was a resort town, not big and not very far from my permanent place of residence. In short, it’s 60 km to get to it and I decided to cover this path on a bicycle - it’s more interesting. And send equipment and things back to you by courier delivery service. I packed everything, brought it to the delivery service office early in the morning, right before the opening, and was the first customer. It was on Monday, and as everyone knows, this is a difficult day. I am standing in front of a recently awakened boy of about 18 years old. He arranges the delivery and asks: - Who is the sender? I tell him my details. - Who is the recipient? - Am I? - Who?! - Well, he is. — ONGE YAZHE? Last name - YAZHE?.... Then the entire department instantly woke up from hysterical laughter. I remembered another story5. Everything in design is just like in life. My friend was renovating his house and asked me to install some interior design programs on his computer. I gave him everything I could. We sit, he’s at the computer, I’m next to him, we drink beer, I reach “Bulmer’s Peak”, he’s just wasting precious liquid. He tells me: “I just can’t figure out how to choose the colors of the walls to match the furniture, well, I can’t imagine the combination in my head.” - Well, this is generally a simple matter. Go to Google. He went... - Select image search. He chose... - Type something like “circular color palette.” There will be a circle and on it find your color and neighboring and opposite ones on the circle will approach it. I see him sitting, looking at the screen, and telling me. - In my opinion, you didn’t say the exact name, and I don’t find anything. Google shows some bullshit. I turn the screen towards me and see the typed text... “circular HALF A LITER of flowers” and the corresponding pictures. Google did everything it could. So without half a liter it’s difficult.
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