We bring to your attention a translation of a satirical article by Jose Aguinaga, Web engineer and Frontend developer, dedicated to some nice features of interviewing developers .
Candidate: Hello, is there an interview going on here? Did I get there?
HR: Yes, good morning Miss Smith! Please sit down, we have been waiting for you. You are applying for the position of senior technical translator, right? Yes, that's right. I am fluent in French, Spanish, Italian and German and have been involved in both scientific and technical translations for the past seven years. I am currently translating medical records, but I have a wide range of translation experience, as you can see in my CV.
Great. It looks like you meet all the requirements for this position. Now we would like to do a little linguistic testing to make sure you have the necessary knowledge base. Do I understand correctly that you are looking for someone who will translate medical reference books and drug labels?
Exactly! We are looking for only the best of the best, those who have a solid base in all the necessary aspects. Great! Well, shall we begin?
Yes, let's start. I have a few introductory questions related to this position. Question one: what effect did the Arab invasion of the Iberian Peninsula in the period 711-1492 have on the Spanish language? I'm sorry, what?
Do you want me to repeat the question? So, how did the invasion affect the Spanish language ... Thank you, I understand the question, it just surprised me a little, to be honest ... I was expecting something more related to the position I'm applying for, but I know the answer. Thanks to the Islamic conquest of Spain at the beginning of the 7th century and the presence of an Arabic-speaking population in the south until the Reconquista, the Spanish language received many loanwords from Arabic. For example, the Spanish word "ajedrez" (chess) comes from the Arabic الشطرنج (ash shatranj).
Great answer. You get an extra point for the given example. Second question: This writer created "Colorless green ideas sleep furiously" as an example of a grammatically correct sentence that is semantically meaningless. Is it a question?
Yes, sure. I'm sorry, I didn't immediately understand what it was... Noam Chomsky?
Great! In what book did he give this example? I'm sorry, what? I have no idea, I took it when I was in college, now I do translations that don't require...
Too bad. This is Syntactic Structures, a book written in 1957. In fact, very few people can answer this question. That's amazing...
Right. So the next question is: the words "pater", "father", "vater" refer to Latin, English and German, respectively. We see that in some cases "p" was transformed into "v", and in some cases into "f". The words "piscis", "fish" and "fisch", on the one hand... I'm sorry, but before we continue, may I ask how these questions are related to work? The job description said you were looking for a technical translator, but you didn't ask anything about my professional skills, but instead you were testing me as a linguist.
Yes, I understand your indignation. You see, we are looking for the best translators, and the experience of large companies shows that those who can do the job most successfully have a solid foundation of knowledge in scientific linguistics and excellent knowledge of the classics. Undoubtedly. I have a bachelor's degree in Latin and Ancient Greek and a master's degree in linguistics, but in recent years I have not been involved in academic work.
Well, then you certainly have the necessary knowledge to answer all these questions. Yes, but, again, in recent years I have not studied or written papers on SO specific topics. Does your company conduct any research in a certain area that requires such a deep knowledge of linguistics?
No, we produce pharmaceutical translations for our clients. Fine, then why not find out what I can do as a translator? Surely you have some examples that I could try to translate now?
Oh, that's a great idea! Let's move on to the writing assignments. Please come to the blackboard and take a marker, let's try to test your translation skills. To the blackboard?!
Yes. Please translate the following text: ΠΕΡΙ ΤΟΥ ΠΑΙΔΟΣ ΤΟΥ ΕΠΙΒΙΟΝΤΟΣ But…it's Ancient Greek.
Right. Knowledge of the ancient Greek language is necessary for this job?
Well, no, of course not. Then… why??? What is it for? I don't understand... Although, let's just continue. Do you have a dictionary? I need it for a minute to translate.
The purpose of this task is to translate the text without helpers. But you can use pen and paper if needed. Wait... how is that? Why? Even for ordinary translations, I always use a dictionary to clarify the meaning of a particular word, and you check my knowledge of ancient Greek and I cannot use a dictionary?
Yes, the experience of large companies shows that ... Everything is clear. Give me a minute, OK? I think this text is familiar to me. Wait a minute... "the child who lived"?
Great job! Is this from Harry Potter?
No, this is from How to Interview an Interpreter: 150 Questions and Answers. Well, it's actually from Harry Potter. First chapter. Title.
How should I know? I'm not a translator. I understand, I just mean that this is a fairly recognizable text from a well-known work.
So that's good, isn't it? So, it is easier to prepare for such interview questions. Yeah ... "questions on the script." Look, I really don't understand what this is all about. Usually I think about how to translate faster and better.
I understand... But we are looking for special candidates. Have you ever participated in competitions? I'm sorry, what?
Well, in translation competitions. You are given texts in Sanskrit, some water and food, and you have a couple of days to translate. The one who translates faster wins. Sometimes competitions provide symbolic prizes to stir up interest. Have you ever won in such challenges? No, I have never participated in a "translation competition".
Sadly. This is a big disadvantage for you. We are looking for winners of such contests. What nonsense…
By the way, what level are your calligraphy skills? ... calligraphy?
Well, yes. We are a big company and our team works like an independent startup. Translators sometimes get assignments to write texts, so the ideal calligraphy candidate should be excellent. So you want one person to do the work for two? What other skills should the ideal candidate have? Maybe he still needs to be able to perfectly package honey preparations?
Yes, this is the perfect candidate for us. Wow… You mentioned that the team works like a startup, what do you mean?
This means that we work according to the Agile methodology. We have a horizontal work structure, except for duties and pay, of course. We have a Chief Translator who coordinates the work of everyone else. Chief translator? Wow...how many languages does he speak? Does it help if, for example, we are stuck with a translation?
Actually, he speaks English, but we don't always understand him. He is from Australia, so he has a peculiar accent, but he is agile certified and oversees the work of all translators. Are you serious now? That is, at the interview you ask me to translate a text from ancient Greek, and my immediate supervisor has no idea what it is? Tell me why I should be interested in working for your company?
In our company, you will get a unique experience and will be able to feel what benefit you bring to the world. You'll be doing something really meaningful and you won't get bored, I assure you. This is a super promising job with many opportunities for rapid development in many areas. … but you translate drug labels.
We are changing the world, label by label. A note in the margin of the recruiter's notebook: when sending a letter of refusal to this candidate, give such a review in general terms so that we will not be sued later.
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